Foodies don't exist. Let's get that straight up front. Instead, there exists a certain group of people who have decided that they have nothing better to do with their spare time than convince other people that they "appreciate food." By "appreciate" of course, they mean "can afford" and by "food" they mean "expensive food." That's the point all foodies want you to realize right away. The fact that they're affluent enough to afford gourmet food. You never see foodies taking pictures or writing blogs about their experiences with mass-produced food, fast food or savoring the latest soup-kitchen fare. Even though the Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines foodie or foody or foo-gives-a-shit as "a person having an avid interest in the latest food fads." The latest food fads, if you've been paying attention, include turning everything that isn't food into food! (I think my favorite part of that last link is the fact that the McDonald's spokesman was named 'Todd Bacon') Where are the foodies lining up to compare and contrast the multitude of fast food offerings that contain various amounts of industrial food stuff? It is after all, a hot topic. One that will certainly affect the outlook of food industries from top-tier to third world countries.
Foodies are also under the impression that they have a special talent for liking food. That they, in secret, have discovered food that has been expertly prepared is "like ya know, good, man." Like they possess sommelier-like powers of taste that can, after biting into a $100 lamb chop, deduce the exact place, date and time a young sheep was put to death. Also, if any lamb relatives were present at the funeral and if they are also currently being served at a nearby table.
So what does it take to become a foodie you ask? Absolutely nothing. How many years must one train themselves before one can pass the foodie test and earn their Michelin stars? (don't bother reading that wiki review, you won't find foodie anywhere) None. Being a foodie is not a skill. Despite what lies they like to tell you, and more importantly themselves, anyone can call themselves a foodie and be just as qualified as any idiot walking down the street. That's right, The Burger King Kids Club has more restrictions than being a foodie has ever had.
All foodies suffer from the delusion that the reason they enjoy gourmet food and the huddled masses enjoy fast food is out of pure choice. They are completely blind to the fact that given the option of a free meal consisting of either their favorite cheap fast food or a four course meal of their choosing prepared by a four-star chef in a five-star restaurant, everyone chooses the fine dining and you don't have to be a food genius to figure it out. They completely ignore the only discernable requirement of being a so-called foodie, price, and spit in the faces of everyone forced to eat below their standards because they believe the ability to buy more expensive food somehow makes you appreciate it more.
You know who truly appreciates food? Homeless people and starving children.They appreciate food so much they beg for it, pray for it and even shed tears over being offered some soup and bread. That's food appreciation. That's putting your heart and soul into enjoying every meal like it's your last.
So go ahead foodies. Waste some people's weekly salary on food that's photogenic and takes an hour to prepare by blind monks flown in from parts unknown. Really, I mean that. Don't stop. I'd hate for all that time and effort and money to go to waste instead of being used to properly inflate the ego of a self-possessed egomaniac who's chosen to add to their own self worth the mundane ability to "appreciate" the one thing most Americans already take for granted because they've realized they're not special.
III,
Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Monday, November 5, 2012
Don't Vote with Your Wallet
Tomorrow, American citizens with some form of government issued ID will vote for the next President. Not directly, but through the Electoral College consisting of 538 delegates (435 from the House Representatives, 100 Senators and 3 for the District of Columbia) and which has been outdated since the invention of television. A delegate pledges to vote for a certain candidate and the candidate who receives the most votes (270 or more) wins. Proponents of the Electoral College will argue that it allows for the smaller states not to be ruled by attitudes of bigger states but since the majority of votes comes from the House of Representatives and the number of representatives a state has is based on population, I find this a weak argument. Not to mention that there is currently no law that forces the electoral delegates to vote for the person they are pledged to vote for. So, when you cast your vote, there is nothing stopping the person you elected to vote for you from actually voting however they want.
This is a disturbing reality to grasp for anyone who believes in democracy and liberty and the whole "all men are created equal" thing. Wouldn't it make more sense for votes to count directly for the person being voted for and whoever has the most wins? It's hard convincing your friends and family to vote when they may not even get what they bargained for when trying to exercise one of the core freedoms our founding documents allow us to have.
It is easy to see how voters can become disillusioned about the Presidential election, with an awkward election process and an almost infinite sea of political jargon that is thrown at you up to two years in advance. By the time you step into the booth you've been told over and over how everything you believed about one candidate is wrong by another candidate whose own credibility has been destroyed by the other. The pros and cons of both start to meld together as the two candidates approach the actual election because they've come so far from the promises they made to their followers in the beginning that they are now just trying to say anything that anyone wants to hear. In that moment, the true enemy of freedom rears its ugly head. Apathy. That uncaring emotion that allows for all the B.S. reasons for voting to take control of your brain and allow you to rationalize voting for a particular candidate based on the flimsiest of excuses. This is how votes are wasted, this is how societal norms continue to constrain the minority of intelligent, forward thinking people in our country and how the political machine can continue rolling without any signs of changing, therefore subjecting another generation to the same apathetic tendencies.
If you haven't given up hope and decided to let the political machine eat you up, I believe there are a few pitfalls that you can navigate that would allow you to sift through the haze of political spin and allow you to vote and still look at yourself in the mirror in the morning with any ounce of sociological/philosophical respect. There are a lot of reasons to weigh when choosing who to vote for but I believe avoiding these reasons will allow you to focus on the other issues more clearly.
#1 Don't Vote with Your Wallet
Don't vote with your wallet. I know how it sounds, money to most people is the most important thing in the world, which is half the problem. Even if money doesn't completely rule your life most of you would probably argue that it's pretty damn important. From a day to day stand point you'll find little argument from me. However, when adjusting your world view to include an event that affects so many people like choosing the President, money begins to wain in importance when compared to war, civil rights and liberty. When you can realistically envision a scenario that includes the government telling you what career opportunities are available to you, who you can and cannot marry and what to do with your own body, the price of gas really doesn't matter much anymore. Human beings were here before money and we'll be here after money. If we all woke up tomorrow and decided that green paper rectangles didn't hold any value, they wouldn't. It's an illusion we've all agreed means something. That should show you the power of the human condition and just where money should fall on our list of things that actually matter. Women in this country, no matter how hard they work, are still being subjected to societal prejudices and are being restricted in their professional lives. They are being told that their bodies are not their own and someone else can decide what happens to it. It's hard to worry about the government taking money out of your wallet when their other hand is down your pants.
#2 Leave Your Religious Beliefs at Home
Leave your religious beliefs at home. This is another tough one but a very important issue that voters need to realize has absolutely no place in deciding who the president should be. Religion in some form is vital to our everyday lives but all religions aim to speak to you on a personal level. I don't think any rational person would argue that the founding fathers revolted against a country that had the power to religiously oppress them, in order to form another country where they religiously oppressed people. America is not a Christian nation, America is a nation that has a lot of Christians in it. Nearly all the founding fathers wrote papers on the subject of this country being a land of many faiths, despite their personal beliefs. Yet, most voters seem to think the election is some kind of holy war and the outcome of a certain faith taking control of the country depending on which faith you believe in, will surely usher in Armageddon. There are people in this country who do not have the freedom to live the life they want simply because the majority of people in power don't agree with them. That's how small and irrational that argument really is. It goes against every single tenet this country stands for when you vote to take away the civil rights of another human being because your religion says something different. Our constitution guarantees every citizen the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't say "only the white, straight, Christians," no matter how much some people want it to.
#3 Do Not Vote Based on Looks
I can't believe I actually have to print this one but unfortunately I have actually heard enough people in my everyday life try and rationally defend this argument. Usually this is the bottom of the barrel voter who has already succumbed to the Apathy Party. Looks can be deceiving. Talk to anyone who was actually alive during the time when most Americans lost faith in the political system, Watergate. Anyone not entirely cynical will tell you that they were absolutely shocked by it. Richard Nixon was a charming, never raise his voice much less swear, Quaker for God's sake, who pulled the rug out from an entire country. This is America, there are plenty of good looking people to choose from, not all of them should be given power. Not a single winner of the Miss USA Pageant has been a serious contender for the presidency and there are very good reasons for that. Sarah Palin was a beauty queen and also a weather girl before becoming the Governor of Alaska (kinda) and she was almost Vice President. By those standards Al Roker is a swimsuit contest away from having the qualifications to nuke Iran.
We the people, are allowing this to happen. We the people, have a responsibility to fight for freedom if not for the sake of political ideology, for the sake of humanity. Have we really come 236 years to give all of this up now? Have we really decided to turn in our sense of right and wrong we honestly had as children for ideas so petty as money, religion or looks? I truly hope not. I truly hope that we take a long look at which side wants freedom and which side wants to keep the machine running. It's up to us. It's always up to us.
III
This is a disturbing reality to grasp for anyone who believes in democracy and liberty and the whole "all men are created equal" thing. Wouldn't it make more sense for votes to count directly for the person being voted for and whoever has the most wins? It's hard convincing your friends and family to vote when they may not even get what they bargained for when trying to exercise one of the core freedoms our founding documents allow us to have.
It is easy to see how voters can become disillusioned about the Presidential election, with an awkward election process and an almost infinite sea of political jargon that is thrown at you up to two years in advance. By the time you step into the booth you've been told over and over how everything you believed about one candidate is wrong by another candidate whose own credibility has been destroyed by the other. The pros and cons of both start to meld together as the two candidates approach the actual election because they've come so far from the promises they made to their followers in the beginning that they are now just trying to say anything that anyone wants to hear. In that moment, the true enemy of freedom rears its ugly head. Apathy. That uncaring emotion that allows for all the B.S. reasons for voting to take control of your brain and allow you to rationalize voting for a particular candidate based on the flimsiest of excuses. This is how votes are wasted, this is how societal norms continue to constrain the minority of intelligent, forward thinking people in our country and how the political machine can continue rolling without any signs of changing, therefore subjecting another generation to the same apathetic tendencies.
If you haven't given up hope and decided to let the political machine eat you up, I believe there are a few pitfalls that you can navigate that would allow you to sift through the haze of political spin and allow you to vote and still look at yourself in the mirror in the morning with any ounce of sociological/philosophical respect. There are a lot of reasons to weigh when choosing who to vote for but I believe avoiding these reasons will allow you to focus on the other issues more clearly.
#1 Don't Vote with Your Wallet
Don't vote with your wallet. I know how it sounds, money to most people is the most important thing in the world, which is half the problem. Even if money doesn't completely rule your life most of you would probably argue that it's pretty damn important. From a day to day stand point you'll find little argument from me. However, when adjusting your world view to include an event that affects so many people like choosing the President, money begins to wain in importance when compared to war, civil rights and liberty. When you can realistically envision a scenario that includes the government telling you what career opportunities are available to you, who you can and cannot marry and what to do with your own body, the price of gas really doesn't matter much anymore. Human beings were here before money and we'll be here after money. If we all woke up tomorrow and decided that green paper rectangles didn't hold any value, they wouldn't. It's an illusion we've all agreed means something. That should show you the power of the human condition and just where money should fall on our list of things that actually matter. Women in this country, no matter how hard they work, are still being subjected to societal prejudices and are being restricted in their professional lives. They are being told that their bodies are not their own and someone else can decide what happens to it. It's hard to worry about the government taking money out of your wallet when their other hand is down your pants.
#2 Leave Your Religious Beliefs at Home
Leave your religious beliefs at home. This is another tough one but a very important issue that voters need to realize has absolutely no place in deciding who the president should be. Religion in some form is vital to our everyday lives but all religions aim to speak to you on a personal level. I don't think any rational person would argue that the founding fathers revolted against a country that had the power to religiously oppress them, in order to form another country where they religiously oppressed people. America is not a Christian nation, America is a nation that has a lot of Christians in it. Nearly all the founding fathers wrote papers on the subject of this country being a land of many faiths, despite their personal beliefs. Yet, most voters seem to think the election is some kind of holy war and the outcome of a certain faith taking control of the country depending on which faith you believe in, will surely usher in Armageddon. There are people in this country who do not have the freedom to live the life they want simply because the majority of people in power don't agree with them. That's how small and irrational that argument really is. It goes against every single tenet this country stands for when you vote to take away the civil rights of another human being because your religion says something different. Our constitution guarantees every citizen the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It doesn't say "only the white, straight, Christians," no matter how much some people want it to.
#3 Do Not Vote Based on Looks
I can't believe I actually have to print this one but unfortunately I have actually heard enough people in my everyday life try and rationally defend this argument. Usually this is the bottom of the barrel voter who has already succumbed to the Apathy Party. Looks can be deceiving. Talk to anyone who was actually alive during the time when most Americans lost faith in the political system, Watergate. Anyone not entirely cynical will tell you that they were absolutely shocked by it. Richard Nixon was a charming, never raise his voice much less swear, Quaker for God's sake, who pulled the rug out from an entire country. This is America, there are plenty of good looking people to choose from, not all of them should be given power. Not a single winner of the Miss USA Pageant has been a serious contender for the presidency and there are very good reasons for that. Sarah Palin was a beauty queen and also a weather girl before becoming the Governor of Alaska (kinda) and she was almost Vice President. By those standards Al Roker is a swimsuit contest away from having the qualifications to nuke Iran.
We the people, are allowing this to happen. We the people, have a responsibility to fight for freedom if not for the sake of political ideology, for the sake of humanity. Have we really come 236 years to give all of this up now? Have we really decided to turn in our sense of right and wrong we honestly had as children for ideas so petty as money, religion or looks? I truly hope not. I truly hope that we take a long look at which side wants freedom and which side wants to keep the machine running. It's up to us. It's always up to us.
III
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