Savannah Sorrow

Everybody dreams. Dreams are apart of life. Famed Austrian psychiatrist Sigmund Freud researched dreams with his work on the unconscious mind. One theory proposed dreams to be the residue of thoughts that accumulate during the day and slowly make their way into the forefront when the mind is restless. Dreams are believed to be windows into our personalities and psyches. We seek to know the meaning of dreams and why certain dreams occur. Dreaming is sometimes credited as an important step in visualization, if you dream of success you will be more likely to achieve success. As kids we are told to dream big but not to daydream in class, or pursue pipe dreams. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream of peace for the future, for society and for humanity.

I had a dream. 

My dream was not grand in nature. I didn't want fame or fortune or cultural significance, no. All I wanted was a date. One date. One measly evening out with good food and good conversation and maybe even a good-night kiss, I'm not picky. But no. Not me. For my dream died a slow painful death. On the eastern side of the state of Georgia, by the shores of the Atlantic ocean, Mandy Moore secretly married boyfriend Ryan Adams in Savannah. 

The dream is gone. The wish has vanished. I moved to the other side of the country, L.A., Hollywood, the number one place to run into celebrities and Mandy Moore gets married in my home state! If I believed in signs, this would be a big one. Of course the real victim in all of this is the list. Everyone has a list and it tragically dies, slowly but surely as you get older and become more tied down with responsibility and family. Whether this list contains just women and or men or as mine does, a list of situations, time proves the ultimate victor. 

Mandy Moore became an infatuation of mine when I was a teenager. In the time of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore didn't achieve the musical prowess of Christina or the pop cultural exposure of Spears. She also never transformed her identity. This is the allure of Ms. Moore, er uh, Mrs. Adams. (It even hurts to type) Mandy has remained her dignified self when other young starlets have made headlines for less flattering forms of self-humiliation. 

As I stand, prepared to erase her from my list, I know it will be more difficult to erase her from my mind, my heart and my dreams.

III,